So you may or may not have noticed that recently I have been selling a lot of my pieces off, putting photos mostly on to Instagram and linking them to Facebook.
Firstly, I'm very sorry if that has annoyed anyone and I thought I would take a moment to explain myself. Back in February my grandmother, the light of my life passed away. It has taken me all this time to even be able to say that without breaking down into a complete wreck - I still fall apart on the inside, but I keep it together for show. I won't go into how it happened, but I was with her when she passed - and I don't think those exact moments will ever leave my thoughts. She was the most amazing woman, and anyone who met her fell in love with her. She and I had been through some horrible things together, but we also shared some of the most amazing things and the closet, unbreakable bond. I will love her forever.
When this happened, for the first few weeks, I wouldn't... couldn't even bring myself to eat anything. That is where this weight loss started — with extreme pain and a feeling of loss that I don't think ever truly goes away. And trust me I do not suggest that you should lose weight by not eating for weeks at a time. But from those first few weeks, something inside me changed. I stayed with family friends for a while before my boyfriend asked me to move in with him. At this point we had only been together for a few shorts months, but he was so sure that this was what he wanted that I couldn't doubt it. Luckily, not only was it what I wanted but it was what I needed.
Since moving in with Fabiano, my diet has changed radically. He is Sicilian, so not only is food a lot simpler but it is also nutrient rich. It’s also insanely delicious.
I now eat lentils! I never in all my life thought I would ever eat lentils, but now I do, and I love them, Especially French lentils. The only time I have a glass of coke is on date night, I now only drink mineral water. I have red meat maybe only once a week, and chicken a few times with rice and veggies. I also bake our bread fresh when we need it, and we never order pizza, I make that fresh to order as well.
It's not some radical diet, I honestly have not exercised in about 6 months. But my boyfriend estimates that I've lost about 15kgs. I never weigh myself as a rule, I prefer to go by measurements. But since losing that amount of weight, while I don't see a huge difference, I feel it.
The shape of body has changed enough that what I used to wear no longer suits me. I've taken a beating to my confidence and now doubt everything I wear. So the brilliant plan I had was to sell off as many pieces as I could and start over. Find my style all over again.
And you have all been so amazing and bought those pieces! Thank you!
Now the process starts of filling up my now bare and empty closet. All I seem to want to wear is black with a dash of white and tan. So that's what I'm going to do. Start by finding pieces in black that I like. And slowly starting my collection again, slowly start to find my style again. To find who I am again.
I know that the weight loss for me is not the only factor in why I feel so different, my life has changed in so many ways. But style for me is directly related to how I feel. It's something that is in my control, so while the inside is healing I'm going to help my outside shine a bit. You’re going to see posts dedicated to this process.
Thank you all for being the most amazing readers, followers, "fans", or whatever you would like to call yourselves. I would not be able to run this blog the way I do if it were not for you lovely people!
And also to my lovely friends and family & of course, my Fabiano, who have been there for me during this time, you have been amazing in ways you will never know. I love you all dearly.